Endors Toi

Go to sleep, you'll be fine

In the morning you'll find
Real life is such a grind
Close your eyes, the day is done
Where a new one's just begun


Sunday, May 14, 2017

End Times

By now it is clear that Grand Forks, North Dakota truly is a simple place—the land of zero lakes, where chain stores rule all and nature is nothing more than endless plains of farmland.

For almost 4 years, somewhere within those endless plains lived a boy who for 18 of them only knew the skyscrapers of not one, but two major cities. Amidst these plains, he met some truly fantastic people whom he will never forget.

But not a day went by, not one single day during those 4 years, in which the boy went without daydreaming of the moment, a glorious moment indeed, of when he would ultimately obtain his university degree and return to St. Paul indefinitely.

The moment is now.

Wednesday, December 21, 2016

You Are A Golden Gal

Sometimes, Animal Collective's music sounds jarringly melodic, like a cold, fresh psychedelic shower. Other times, their music sounds exactly like what their name suggests: as if a bunch of wild animals were put in a room and allowed to bang on instruments. This song is of the former variety:


Monday, October 31, 2016

1 Check-In = 1 Confusion

On Monday, a phenomena happened on facebook in which droves of users "checked in" to the Standing Rock Reservation as a means to help those protesting the Dakota Pipeline, which would run through that reservation.

An original post claimed that, "The Morton County Sheriff's Department has been using Facebook check-ins to find out who is at Standing Rock in order to target them in attempts to disrupt the prayer camps. SO Water Protectors are calling on EVERYONE to check-in at Standing Rock, ND to overwhelm and confuse them. This is concrete action that can protect people putting their bodies and well-beings on the line that we can do without leaving our homes." The only thing is, this entire claim was proved here to be essentially false; the police never used facebook as a means to thwart protesters.

Here's the unsettling part: we now have seen how quick people are to make public their position on social media versus how slow they are to physically support that position. We're given the false sense that we can achieve equal parts change from the comfort of our homes than out in the real world. Obviously it'd be tough to drive out to North Dakota and be there to protest, but an online donation certainly achieves more than an online check-in. It almost causes one to wonder: is this issue really something the people of facebook care about, or is it just another post being shared to establish a political identity? In other words, are some real world issues treated as just another way to achieve popularity on social media?

Here's the admirable part: This is the classic 1 like = 1 prayer hoax, only instead of promoting a meaningless facebook page, the curators of this hoax actually help raise awareness about a noble cause. Many people who didn't already know about the Dakota pipeline issue now do. This creates the opportunity for more to join the cause, and actually inhibit concrete change. Many people don't have the time or resources to adequately help a cause they believe in. But anyone can advertise to those who do, and this proves critical in creating more tangible efforts. Ultimately then, it is a commendable gesture to check-in at standing rock to show support. Regardless of how genuine that support is, added awareness can and will help.

But if you think you're fooling a sheriff's department, you're really just fooling yourself.

Monday, September 26, 2016

The 15 Best M83 Interlude Tracks

15. At The Party - M83
 At The Party is the only interlude track from M83's self-titled debut album featured on this list. Not only is it the list's most archaic interlude in chronology (M83 came out in 2001), but its sonic texture bodes a particular aged quality as well. At The Party doesn't sound like a party; it sounds like the background music of a computer game abandoned in the late 90's. The faded, psychedelic wooze in the track's final twenty seconds is the game's slow, painful realization that it will never be relevant again.


14. Let Men Burn Stars - Before The Dawn Heals Us
You are four years old. It is the 4th of July, and everyone is having fun outside watching fireworks. You would be too, except you can't find your parents. Tears stream down your cheeks as you run about the park, frantically searching through the crowd of strangers for the only two faces you know. Finally, you stop to sit at tree and look up. For a moment, the exploding lights in the sky cause you to forget about finding anyone. They make you forget all about sleeping, about eating, even breathing. You're no longer crying, only the angels weep for you now. It wasn't supposed to happen this way.



13. Ludivine - Junk
Ludivine, along with album closer Sunday Night 1987 combine to provide the thesis that M83's most recent album is laden with melancholy. Ludivine is the sigh of wistfulness one experiences when remembering lost times. It is the inevitable, uninvited side effect of nostalgia: regret.


12. Birds - Dead Cities, Red Seas & Lost Ghosts
"Sun is shining. Birds are singing. Flowers are growing. Clouds are looming. And I am flying."
     
 By far the most jarring track on this list, Birds begins with exactly that: the sounds of songbirds chirping in the morning. That only lasts a few seconds before getting drowned out by a distorted robot, who repeats the above lyrics (seven times!). Most listeners probably won't appreciate this track at first, but it absolutely is one of the most fascinating works in M83's varied catalog. They just had to title it "Birds" because "defective robot waking up on acid" didn't fit into the theme of the album.
    

11. Klaus I Love You - Hurry Up, We're Dreaming
At first glance this seems to be the first electronic instrumental ever dedicated to Santa Claus, spelling notwithstanding. But whoever it's dedicated to is clearly loved by M83's Anthony Gonzalez. Rather than saying it with lyrics, Gonzalez opts to take Klaus out for this dazzling 2-minute space dance.


10. Can't Stop - Before The Dawn Heals Us
The wonderful part about this track is that even if you don't like it, you still have to empathize with its composer. Because quite literally, he can't stop it. In a similar vein as Birds, Can't Stop is a repetitive interlude that builds ambiance upon its center structure.


9. Tension - Junk

While the first part of this track is essentially a perfect imitation of a Super Mario water level, M83 is back in classic fashion once the vocals kick in.


8. Strong and Wasted - Digital Shades

Strong and Wasted is the only track from M83's 4th album, Digital Shades, to be featured on this list. Judging by its name, Anthony Gonzalez must have written this melodic interlude while feeling good and drunk one night. That's fine, because there's something to be said about the best interlude track from an ambient album that is essentially just one long interlude.


7. Moon Crystal - Junk

In just over two minutes of instrumental, Moon Crystal effectively epitomizes the most unappreciated aspects of Junk. Almost immediately, the listener knows exactly where and when this track comes from: a 1980's television show introduction. Or perhaps it's from a game show track. Or the background music when "please stand by" comes on during technical difficulties. Regardless, we all seem to know this track from somewhere. And that's the genius behind much of Junk. Not only is Gonzalez able to perfectly replicate sounds and styles of his choosing, but he does so with such unapologetic fervor that one can't help but go along with it.


6. Where the Boats Go - Hurry Up, We're Dreaming

Toronto, Ontario, Canada.


5. I Guess I'm Floating - Before The Dawn Heals Us

Perhaps the most aptly named M83 track, I guess I'm floating describes exactly what it feels like to listen to it.


4. This Bright Flash - Hurry Up, We're Dreaming

The easiest way to describe This Bright Flash is not through words, but indeed, imagery. Out of all 22 tracks from Hurry Up, We're Dreaming, this one fits the album artwork best.


3. The Wizard - Junk

 In a perfect world, this would be track #1 on Junk; I can think of no better way to begin an album. While the world isn't perfect, neither is Junk.

But this interlude just about is.


2. Fountains - Hurry Up, We're Dreaming

"The song Fountains sounds like an acid fueled hippie quest through an enchanted forest."


1. Another Wave from You - Hurry Up, We're Dreaming

M83's opus Hurry Up, We're Dreaming received critical claim upon release, primarily due to songs such as "Midnight City", "Wait", "Steve McQueen" and "Outro". And while full-length tracks like these certainly make Hurry Up a good album, it's the album's phenomenal interlude tracks that will have listeners coming back years later, reminding them why M83's 2011 album is a virtually flawless classic.

Personally, I'm not actually certain that this is my favorite M83 interlude; the top six on this list may as well all be tied for first. But there are a few reasons why this is objectively number one, mainly due to its unmistakable M83 feel. In just two minutes, Another Wave From You successfully summarizes everything M83 stands for musically. Synth arpeggios rising from the ashes over ambient bliss. Slow waves of sound increasing in both volume and urgency. Orchestral emotions. Whispered lyrics returning from the Messier Galaxy, wondering if they saw you there too.

Of all the range of emotions pitted in the realm of Hurry Up, We're Dreaming, perhaps the strongest is the feeling of being reunited with the things that you love. The album doesn't ask you to hurry up and dream, it's telling you that life is the dream, and that you need to hurry up and realize how magnificent of a dream it can be.

The first half of Hurry Up indeed looks into the past, wondering when the good times of old may one day repeat themselves. After wondering, "When Will You Come Home?", the second half serves as its homecoming; a reminder that, given enough time, real life can become better than our dreams. That's why on Another Wave From You, the musing, "I think I saw you there" is now nothing more than a funny afterthought. Because you're here now, and that's all that matters.



Sunday, June 5, 2016

Why Winnipeg?

Winnipeg is a decaying, dirty, freezing, crime-ridden, fascinatingly beautiful city. It's home to 700,000 people, roughly the same size as the inner city populations of Saint Paul and Minneapolis together. Combined with wind, Winnipeg's winters are characterized by the coldest temperatures of any major North American city. And depending on your definition of a city, it's the coldest one in the world. As Winnipeg's 6 month long winter concludes, its icy roads thaw, revealing the city's decrepit infrastructure while adding an exclamation point behind its numerous enclaves of poverty. If you ever talk to a Canadian from, say, Calgary or Toronto, they'll probably talk about Winnipeg in terms of it being the armpit of Canada. And while most will say this without actually having been there, whether or not they're right is besides the point. I don't care how many people hate Winnipeg, or love it, or never even think about itit's still one of my favorite cities in the world.

Downtown Winnipeg, viewed from the Canadian Museum for Human rights
Geography is everything. Every culture in the world is fundamentally challenged and shaped by the geography for which it originated. If you have a spouse, you alter your geography every day just to be near each other. You live together, you vacation together. Geography is what we use to measure how vast the earth is, yet it's also what brings us together.

The geography of a city is what fundamentally separates it from the rest of the world—a unique haven of human existence with its own set of customs, weather, people. Geography and history often intersect, but this becomes especially true when it comes to the formation of a metropolis. For thousands of years, indigenous people lived and died in the place that is now called Winnipeg. At the confluence of the Red and Assiniboine Rivers, humans long ago determined Winnipeg as a worthy place to settle. But other than these two rivers, what geographically makes Winnipeg an attractive place? Why settle there? As someone who experiences and analyzes cities through a spatial lense, it may seem odd that I would ever consider a place like Winnipeg. Because to me, the fascinating thing about Winnipeg's geography is that there's nothing particularly fascinating about it.

Winnipeg is one of the flattest urban area's in the world. This view is found at the top of the city's highest "natural" point, garbage hilla hill literally formed out of historical trash.
You see, Winnipeg doesn't just seem to sit in the middle of nowhere. It actually does. But in the realm of geography, nowhere is still somewhere, and that somewhere happens to be a frigid, yet fertile river valley in the center of North America. One Winnipeger writes that his city is a paradox, "an unspectacular shack amidst the prairie’s desolation and a subtle beacon of Canada’s cultural fringe. It’s a disappointment and a pleasant surprise; an unexpected collision of the peculiar and the blasé. It’s both the middle of nowhere and the heart of the continent, and there’s no reason to pretend it’s anything else."

For most people, the simple fact that a city like Winnipeg exists in the midst of Earth's coldest prairie is its most compelling quality. Its ability to be forgotten is what's remembered most; its primary relevance lies in its irrelevance. Fine, whatever. Leave it at that if you want. But if you've never actually been in the streets of Winnipeg, if you haven't observed its lonely wanderer in -40° wind chill, if you've yet to see alcoholism in the form of an entire neighborhood, then you don't really know how ridiculous, if not tragic, Winnipeg can be. Winnipeg isn't interesting because it's a grungy city. And it certainly isn't interesting because it's situated on a prairie in the middle of Canada. Winnipeg is interesting because it's audacious enough to be both at the same time.


The emptiest, saddest Chinatown of all time
Most North American cities follow the same crude outline: downtown economic core in the center, surrounded by low-income neighborhoods, surrounded by middle-income neighborhoods, surrounded by high-income neighborhoods, surrounded by farmland. But what's intriguing about Winnipeg is its ability to skip steps along the way. Say for example, you were riding a bike down Portage avenue in downtown Winnipeg. Now take a left on Main Street, and proceed 10 kilometers northbound. You are now completely surrounded by farmland. And yet, the juxtaposition of skyscrapers to prairie isn't even the most disconcerting part of the trip! Because as you leave Winnipeg's downtown economic core and travel through its infamously low-income North Side, you begin to realize that that's all you've traveled through before reaching, well, not Winnipeg. 

So what happened to the winding rows of houses with expansive, perfectly green yards you should have traveled through? And why didn't you have to get on a 5-lane expressway to reach the countryside? Where OH WHERE are the swaths of suburbs necessary to transition from the urban to rural environment? For a solid 10 minutes, I stood next to my bike at the edge of the prairie on Winnipeg's North side and wondered those questions. For a solid 10 minutes, I looked out at the farmland and almost tricked myself into thinking I was in small-town North Dakota. For a moment, it seemed as if I'd just left someone's unfinished imagination of a city, and woke up to what had been there all along.

By now you're probably wondering, if Winnipeg is mostly just a few tall buildings surrounded by poor to mixed income neighborhoods in the middle of nowhere, what's the draw? Why Winnipeg? Why even bother visiting a city like that, let alone live in it? I still can't answer that question in confidence, but in less than a week, I can say that I discovered one of Winnipeg's most unique charms: it skips out on suburbia. In the Twin Cities, the pedestrian is completely contained. Without a car or bus, the inner-city citizen may travel in any direction and never lose sight of the built environment. But with Winnipeg, I can head Northbound for a few minutes and suddenly leave humanity behind. With Winnipeg, I can get on my bike, exit the shadowy boulevards of downtown, and travel back to a time before any of us existed.

Wednesday, May 25, 2016

Winnipeg photos

The city and I



My two favorite methods of transportation









Nighttime at the forks

Sunday, May 8, 2016

Sunday Night 1987

The tragic nature of time lies not in the days that are gone, but in the memories lost forever.